Toxic positivity is a condition when a person demands himself or others to always think and act positively and reject negative emotions. Seeing things positively is good, but if coupled with avoiding negative emotions, this can actually have a negative impact on mental health. you know.
Someone trapped in toxic positivity will continue to try to avoid negative emotions, such as sadness, anger, or disappointment, from something that happened. In fact, negative emotions are also important to feel and express.
Denial of negative emotions that continue to be carried out in the long term can lead to various mental health problems, such as severe stress, prolonged anxiety or sadness, sleep disorders, drug abuse, depression, and PTSD.
Recognize the Characteristics Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity usually comes through speech. People who have such thoughts may often give advice that seems positive, but actually feel negative emotions.
Besides, there are some things that indicate someone is trapped inside toxic positivity, among others:
- Hiding the feelings that are really being felt
- Impressed to avoid or leave the problem
- Feeling guilty when feeling or expressing negative emotions
- Trying to give encouragement to others, but often accompanied by statements that seem belittling, for example saying the sentence "Don't give up, just how come you can't"
- Often say sentences that compare yourself to others, for example, "You are luckier, there are still many people who suffer more than you"
- Saying a sentence that blames the person who is in trouble, for example 'Try, deh, see the positive side. After all, it's your fault too, right?"
Perhaps, saying positive sentences is meant to strengthen yourself or as sympathy for the problems that are being experienced by others. However, that doesn't mean you can be so positive that you ignore negative emotions. Anything in excess is not good, and so are positive attitudes and thoughts.
Apart from speech, social media can also trigger toxic positivity. Unconsciously, social media makes everyone compete to show the best side of their respective lives. When we see other people whose lives seem more perfect, maybe we will become sad and depressed more easily.
Even when you're feeling really sad, try to hide it from social media as much as possible. This makes us reject all negative emotions because we want to always look perfect, like the world that is shown on social media.
How to Avoid Toxic Positivity
In order to avoid toxic positivity and its bad effects, and not be a source of toxic positivity for others, you can try some of the following tips:
1. Feel and manage negative emotions
The negative emotion that is being felt is not something that needs to be kept or denied. Feelings and emotions, both negative and positive, are normal for a person to feel.
For that, you can vent or express your feelings so you don't become toxic positivity. Try telling stories and expressing your complaints to someone you trust and can understand your feelings. If you feel uncomfortable, you can write it down in a diary.
2. Try to understand, not judge
Negative feelings that you or others feel can arise due to various triggers, ranging from stress due to work, family or financial problems, to symptoms of certain mental disorders, such as mental disorders. mood.
Therefore, try to understand the feeling and find the right way to let it go.
If this happens to your friend, let him express the emotions he is feeling. Everyone certainly does not want to be judged, especially just because he is honest with his own feelings. Therefore, instead of giving an impressed comment judgmental, try to empathize.
3. Avoid comparing problems
Everyone has their own challenges and problems. What you think is easy and difficult is certainly different from other people. You may feel that it is easy when for other people it is very difficult, and vice versa.
Therefore, it is unfair if you compare the problems you are experiencing with other people's problems. Instead of comparing yourself to others, it's better to try to understand and comfort yourself so that your condition and feelings recover.
4. Reducing the use of social media
Because social media can trigger or exacerbate toxic positivity, it would be better if you try to reduce its use. Also manage your social media accounts, get rid of people who always make posts that are not useful or can provoke your emotions.
Instead of spending time on scrolling social media, it's better to make yourself productive by completing pending tasks, honing skills, doing me time, or other activities that make you feel happy.
After knowing the characteristics of toxic positivity, now you can't do that anymore, huh. Also apply how to avoid toxic positivity what has been described above, so that you avoid this attitude and do not become a source of toxic positivity for others.
Remember that it's okay to not feel okay. There's no need to deny your sadness and pretend you're always happy. Everyone's life has its own color. There are losses we can feel happy and satisfied, there are times when we can feel sad and disappointed.
If you get stuck in toxic positivity until you feel that your quality of life is disrupted, don't hesitate to consult a psychologist, okay?